Underbelly Anniversary

Yesterday late afternoon we were sitting on the veranda reading and chatting and whatnot and Christine said, "You want to go out to eat somewhere?"

I said, "Hmmmmmmm yeah no, not really."

Then I felt bad. We rarely go out to eat. 

"Sorry," I said.

Christine said, "That's alright, maybe tomorrow."

Then she said something else.

"Happy Anniversary." 

And then she bent her head back to her newspaper, nonchalantly.

The thing that happened in my mind at that moment is almost impossible to describe. I could still see, sort of, but none of what I could see meant anything. My mind was a kind of sharp, white blank you imagine one experiences while being attacked by a large shark. My breathing went shallow. Then it stopped altogether. I felt my mind grasping fat-fingered for something, something I knew was dreadfully important, but that I could not put a name or even a meaning on. It has a shape, I thought. It's big, and block-shaped. It's...it's a MONTH! A MONTH! What is a month? I had no idea. But I knew, deep in my blood, that it was very, very important. 

I was finally able to hold this "month" thing in my mind, and determine that these things have names. "August" floated up from the depths of my horror. That's not it, I thought.

Christine was looking at me - queerly - all this time. Several seconds had passed. 

Then, I rose, as if a diver, perhaps in Antarctic waters - without a suit - and, in slow, slow motion, broke the surface of the water, with a name on the quivering edges of my mind: "Oc...to...ber."

Oh...dear...

Oc...to...ber...5th...

Oh...no...dear....

"Is it," I asked, in a voice like breaking glass, a far, far away voice that didn't really want to be itself, "October...5th?"

I can only describe Christine at this point as something like a child who has just witnessed several elephants suddenly standing on their hindlegs and expertly swiveling hula-hoops around their hips. She clearly found this torture session of mine a very special kind of amusing. 

I of course deserved it.

Thankfully, it was October 4. I had, I must confess, somehow not registered the coming October 5. I kick myself for this. Bad, bad husband.

Christine was of course very forgiving. Did I deserve that, too? Hrrm.

Today we are taking a long city bus ride downtown, to watch one of the largest fireworks shows ever conceived - over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. 

Just for us.

Happy 11th Anniversary, baby. I love you more than this...

Headbutting Sleep

Just found this video showing me headbutting sleep, slowly, again, and again, and again, then…sleep.



Think of this next time you find yourself counting sheep.

Absorb This: Florida AG Delays Execution So It Doesn't Conflict With Her Re-Election Campaign Kickoff

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi

You may have heard this from a few weeks ago: convicted killer Marshall Lee Gore was scheduled to be executed in Florida on September 10 of this year. That didn't fit into Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's schedule: that was the same night as her re-election campaign kickoff! So what did she do? She got the execution delayed for three weeks:

Basically, Bondi told the families of victims who had been grieving for 25 years that they needed to grieve another three weeks so she could break out the champagne flutes and rake in the campaign checks.

Tuesday's event was billed as a "hometown campaign kickoff" at Bondi's waterfront home, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

And, as everyone knows, lethal injection can cast quite a pall on a party. So a few weeks ago, Bondi quietly decided to reschedule … the execution.

What special state of depravity do you have to molt to to even comprehend doing such a thing? For it even to cross your mind, much less to actually follow through and make the phone calls and speak the words and actually get it to happen? To delay by weeks the execution of a human being - so it doesn't conflict with the glitzy campaign kickoff fundraiser for your law enforcement position?

I didn't just throw up a little in my mouth—I threw up a little in my soul.

Bondi has apologized. As smarmily as you might expect.

Bonus:

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi was a staunch supporter of Gov. Rick Scott's Timely Justice Act, a controversial law that speeds up executions in the state by restricting "frivolous" appeals by inmates.

Isn't she special?

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We Need a National DNA META-Database

NSA, DNI, DNA, LOL

Proposal: We should immediately begin collecting DNA samples from every single American citizen. We should use those samples to produce DNA identification profiles, and those profiles should be kept in a secure database indefinitely. A National DNA META-database. There wouldn't be any names or any other personal information attached to the profiles...unless we needed it. 

Legal Justicfication: People voluntarily allow bits of their DNA to be spread outside of their bodies and into the wider, public world - via a third party - every single day. DNA is therefore and obviously not private, as concerns constitutional protections of privacy. This is supported by long establised law.

Important Notes:

• It's just metadata!

• Haystack!

• Terror! (Extra Editor's Note: "Terror" does require a link. Terror is the link.)

• Just think how interesting a DNA META-database would make the "three-hop" system!

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Dead Blog Revived By Zappa

This blog has been dead for some weeks while I recover from quitting smoking after 32 years and dabble in some arthritis. Get it? Cuz "arthritis" starts with "art"?

Anyway,  Zappa. A short one. An excerpt, actually, but holy Jesus:

   

Bozzio.

Belew.

Mars.

O'Hearn.

Wolf.

Mann.

John Oliver on Aussie Elections: Holy Crap

"He's gonna have to soak that thing in club soda for hours!"

Oh God, the dude is funny.

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In my next life I want to be...

...the drum part in this song:

 

Mitch.

Mitch.